On Sacrifice

A few weeks ago in small group, the topic of physician sacrifice surfaced, and from that topic came a proverbial outpouring of emotion, anecdotes, and confusion. What are we, as medical students and later physicians, expected to sacrifice for our patients? Where do we draw the line?

The MD in charge mentioned for the second time this term some advice that an older neonatologist had shared with him over a meal. His only regret was not being there for his family and sharing moments that were pivotal in the upbringing of his children. This got me thinking.

We all mentioned things we had to sacrifice throughout medical school. Time with family, playing musical instruments, hanging out with friends, having relationships. Not going outside on this beautiful St. Patrick's day is a seemingly menial illustration of our sacrifice, but nonetheless representative of the daily struggle of being a full time student.

I for one, miss my family. I have been away from home since I was 17 and started my undergraduate career at Drexel University. I worked the summer post undergrad and went directly into medical school, something that I now think of as a mistake. Here I am, 23 years old, and on the road to being an MD in two short years. All I can think is, where did my youth go? One second I was an energetic, enthusiastic biology major and now I am a slightly burnt out slave to a syllabus. I missed seeing my nephew and niece grow up, and every time I come home they look more and more different than before.

The road ahead is long, but paved with worthwhile moments, I hope. Spring break is 2 days away, but I will spend most of it studying for an exam I had to miss due to a death in the family. At least I will be home. I look forward to laying on the hammock and sunbathing as well as bike rides with my nephew. The simple things city life doesn't afford me!

I would imagine all of my classmates feel a little homesick and lonely come exam time, and I guess that just comes with the territory. It may hurt now but the reward of helping patients for the rest of our lives is an incomparable payoff.